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Author Topic: My Creations  (Read 5844 times)

Offline Tsureie

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My Creations
« on: July 30, 2007, 02:41:35 PM »
Blind Game Again
 
The light searching in the rustling breeze
A temptation I really should know

Don't let me down

I'm always just trying to please

Cry for the sun

I can't see anything

Who is it that cries out inside me?
« Last Edit: July 30, 2007, 02:52:02 PM by Tsureie »
Its US against the WORLD

Offline Kuma

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Re: My Creations
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2007, 04:16:06 PM »
Interesting, so you're a poet, eh?

Welcome to The Nihon Review!

Offline AC

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Re: My Creations
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2007, 05:02:58 AM »
Ahh... a poet with a name I can hardly pronounce... Enlightening.
 
Welcome to NHRW! Sorry, no more Starfire-sprinkled welcome notes... been as worn out as a bathroom rug. Here's a rhyme though:
 
Welcome to the Nihon Review,
Where you will meet the astounding few,
If you enjoy your posting here,
AC will drown you with BEER!
 
Lame, but meh... Cheers!

Offline Tsureie

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Re: My Creations
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2007, 09:57:06 PM »
lol Its nice to meet you two also
Its US against the WORLD

Offline Tsureie

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Re: My Creations
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2007, 11:04:18 AM »
Given Up (P1)
Wake in sweat again

Another day's been laid to waste

In my disgrace

Stuck in my head

Feels like I'll never leave this place

There's no escape

I'm my own worst enemy
Its US against the WORLD

Offline sevenzig

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Re: My Creations
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2007, 07:04:59 PM »
I've never really been a fan of poetry much less angsty poetry. I wouldn't say that you're a modern day Poe yet, but that's only because your poems aren't 3 days long.

Keep being creative though. *thumbs up*

Offline AC

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Re: My Creations
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2007, 08:32:52 PM »
Poems are nice from time to time, but I think you should try to divert slightly away from the conventional 'emo' poetry. I'm not forcing you though; the only reason being is that these type of angsty poems just wear us out quickly... rendering themselves to just being words that came out of spoiled, pessimistic teenagers (again; not jumping to conclusions).
 
Your poem here is okay, but lengthen the poems next time. So far, it's been a good time reading them.

Offline Tsureie

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Re: My Creations
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2007, 11:02:26 PM »
Okay T^T I despise 'Very' long poems but I'll try this time ^^
Its US against the WORLD

Offline Tsureie

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Re: My Creations
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2007, 11:11:01 PM »
The Moon

I am gazing up the night sky
Staring at the moon way up high

In a daze if its pure beauty
Its so genuine to be so truly

I envy its bright light
Thats glows and standouts in the night

With the stars stays to twinkle
Like little sprinkles

I wish to fly in the air
Like a dream filled with love and care
Its US against the WORLD
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