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Author Topic: Rip Apart SM's Reviews  (Read 4343 times)

Offline Shadowmage

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Rip Apart SM's Reviews
« on: February 19, 2007, 09:49:18 PM »
Recently, I've been reading through my reviews, and while they are not bad reviews, I have an inexplicable feeling that something is wrong.  In other words, they could be better... a lot better.  

Yet, as the person who wrote the reviews, I cannot physically think of a way to make them better.

This is why I'm openning this thread to ask people to critique my reviews.  So, if you think that my next review sucks, and you want to rant about how much it sucks, by all means post away here.  (Saying why it sucks and how I could get better would also be a plus.)

In order to kicks thing off , I'll start the flames.

Quote
Inuyasha

While not a bad review, it suffers from a relative dearth of content.  In other words, it's too frigg'n short.  Yes, all the major points have been covered, but the writing is so passive, so generic that it feels a bit empty.  There should have been another paragraph expanding on how the characters managed to transcend their stereotype and become interesting characters.  Overall, the review is like a energy bar.  You eat it; wait five minutes; then wonder if you've eaten anything at all.

5/10

Get it?  Your turn.

I recommend Mobile Suit, RX-0 and Unicorn from the Unicorn OST.

Offline Sorrow-kun

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Re: Rip Apart SM's Reviews
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2007, 05:21:52 AM »
The problem with asking for feedback is that people, while willing to read our reviews to compare opinions and (I'd hope) as recommendations, will generally pass over the  quality of the writing unless its either extraordinarily bad or extraordinarily good.  Personally, I think they're fine as long as they clearly articulate your opinion... which all of you reviews (to date) have done.  And that's the general attitude of the review reading public.  So, stress less.  You'll find that the more reviews you write, the more comfortable you become with the whole review-writing thing... whether that's because you get better, or just become more immune to your own sucktitude, I'm not sure.  From personal experience, I'd hope it's the former.

Offline Kuma

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Re: Rip Apart SM's Reviews
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2007, 08:35:38 AM »
It's admirable that you want to improve the quality of your writing, Shadowmage, but don't worry about it so much.  The reviews you've written that I've read have been fine, and you came here a lot more polished than I, and a lot of other reviewers were.  I think what you're looking for is your own style of writing, which will come with time and practice.

I initially had trouble finding enough things to talk about, so most of my early reviews are very short, blunt, and to the point.  There are even a few that I'm slightly ashamed to have written, but the more reviews I wrote, the more proud I became to have written them, and the better they got.

I'll be sure to reward such diligence by letting you know anything I find that could be improved with your reviewing.

Offline Ariani

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Re: Rip Apart SM's Reviews
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2007, 09:51:36 AM »
Speaking as someone who writes reviews (just not for Nihon Review), I actually think your reviews are pretty damn good.  The most important thing while writing a review is to get your message across and to make that message interesting to read.

If you really want me to tear through and edit your reviews, I'd be more than happy to, but I don't think they need it.

Offline Akira

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Re: Rip Apart SM's Reviews
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2007, 06:28:37 PM »
Proverb:

"Too much modesty is arrogance."

Shadow, there's no reason for perfectionism; your writing is good enough, and sometimes, if you do that, you might come off as being arrogant. (I know you're not trying to, but some people see it that way.)

Now, I personally have no recommendations for you, what you're doing is very critical; and if you can keep on being critical to your own reviews and keep on kritiking (sorry, forgot the English spelling) them, you'll be just fine.

I personally think your reviews are light-years ahead of mine...
I don't have opinions. I have facts.

Offline Kuma

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Re: Rip Apart SM's Reviews
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2007, 01:11:46 PM »
A few comments for Shadowmage after revising some of his reviews.

You use the phrase "Quite frankly" too often in your reviews.  We can't afford to keep paying Stephen A. Smith all the royalties. :)

I did some sentence restructuring in the second paragraph of your Gundam Wing review to better group your ideas.  Check the submitted draft against your original to see what I mean.

In the third paragraph of your Gundam Wing review you said, "use of reused cells."  While not incorrect to do so, it's a good idea to try to avoid using the same word twice so close to each other.  I fixed this too.

The first paragraph of your Wing review said, "thousands of merchandise."  I assume you meant "thousands of pieces of merchandise" or something like that.  I changed it to "merchandise galore."  You can change that if you had something else in mind.

Hope this helps. ;)

Offline Shadowmage

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Re: Rip Apart SM's Reviews
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2007, 03:47:19 PM »
When I write a review, I typically emphasize flow above anything else.  (For extremes exhume my Dokuro-chan review at AA.)  This is why I reuse certain lead-in phrases like "Quite frankly" because it sounds smoother.  Now, looking back at my Gundam W review, I realize that the phrase is really not needed (largely due to your revision of the previous sentence).

Anyways, thanks for the great revision!

I recommend Mobile Suit, RX-0 and Unicorn from the Unicorn OST.
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