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Author Topic: Why Graduation Day is Completely Overrated.  (Read 2287 times)

Offline sevenzig

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Why Graduation Day is Completely Overrated.
« on: June 15, 2006, 09:52:16 PM »
Honestly, where was the excitement. Besides the principal getting hit in the face with a blow up doll, I honestly was glas I had my iPod to save me.
We were supposed to arrive at the school by 5:45, and the parents were supposed to be seated my 6:30, however, such is too complicated for the rich white populus of Pennsylvania. Frankly, I just wanted them to give me my diploma so I could skip the whole ceremony. Packed like sardines sitting next to a rat ugly porpoise wearing a mumu is not what I consider an enjoyable experience.
Regardless, my parents forced me to go back and participate. So blah blah, speeches, memoirs, songs, dance, and a Disney Fiulm Crew were all I saw for the next 2 hours. Appparently we'll be on TV next month as the newest Disney movie, only I'm kidding so this paragraph was almost completely wasted.
So afterward, we have to go to a separate part of the room to get our actual diplomas because my school had the brilliant idea to not pass them out on stage. As to why, I cannot answer than, but I'm sure they can't either, so I won't dwell on it. As I walk out of the room, all I remember is FLASH, purple stars, FLASH green chickens, FLASH, Big Mac, FLASH, well, you get the idea.
So I get the hell out, and go outside. I go talk to my friend Ryan for a while, and we play frisbee in the traffic. Well, over the traffic, but we got honked at and flipped off nonetheless. Eventually we either got bored or tired ourselves out after 5 minutes of continual frisbee tossing, and we went to congratulate people.
We find our mutual friends Sean and Josh, which inevitably leads to FLASH, Mitsubishi, FLASH, Laser Printer. So after the photo session, we decide to go for dinner. But upon closer inspection of my wallet, that $20 I thought I had turned out to be a $1. So I was shit out of luck and shit out of money. So I figured I'd try to stop by the ATM, and if I didn't show it was because I was once again shit out of money.
I leave to go to my car, and you know, you pull out drive around, some kid throws his hat at you while the white jock honks his horn while playing the rap radio station going "nigga ho' shit we out this bitch." After leaving the parking lot, I'm stuck in a traffic nightmare. It was like dumping every ingredient and spice from your cupboard into a soup and praying that it turns out to be edible.
It never does. So I take a shortcut down past the second exit to the school. As I come over the hill, I see a cop car sitting in my lane with its lights on. So I pull up behind it, and proceed to go around. All of a sudden I start to see this flashing light again, only instead of a camera, it's a cop. So I look around and see a cop flashing his light at me, a car stopped at the intersection, and I think "oh, he's letting me go!"
Wrong. But I didn't know that yet. I keep going and another cop runs out into the road flashing his flashlight at me. He taps my hood and comes over to my drivers side window. Now everybody knows that cocky self-assured douche-bag excuse for a human being that everyone hates but still puts up with because it's human decency (usually it's me). This man was beyond that. I know from experience.
He leans in and barks "Gimme your license." I oblige, and realize at the same time that I'm playing the part of "Killing in the Name" by Rage Against the Machine where Zach de la Rocha is screaming "**** you I won't do what you tell me." I quickly turn it down. So I hand the man my wallet and he pulls out my license and notices the card behind it. " he snaps "what's this, a change of adress?" "No sir officer, it's a name change for my legal name on the license." "What? Are you hiding something?!" in the most derrogatory voice I've ever heard used with me."No sir, it's my LEGAL name." "Well, you almost killed that cop back there you little ingrate."
Hold up. That son of a bitch was flashing a yellow light at me. If U.S. traffic laws are right, then a flashing yellow light means proceed with caution. I was going 10 miles per hour (13 km/h ish) and I was at least 3 feet away from him. But I don't say this, I merely nod my head and apologize. He hands me back my wallet, which has since been completely ripped apart, and asks me make, model, and year of my car. He then leaves to get my lisence plate number and feels the need to tell me "don't go anywhere."
A ****ing genius if I say so myself. He then returns to me, asks for my phone number ans some more information, and then gives me this. "You're 15 minutes out of graduation and your head is already 6 feet up your ass. Maybe I'll talk to the school cop and see if we give you a little graduation present. Now get out of here."
So I drive away, pull down some side road, and puch the **** out of my cars ceiling. I broke my knuckle in the process. So I drove home, sat on my ass and watched soccer/football replays on ESPN.
About 2hours later, my father comes home with my mom, and they've been at the bar. I tell them my story and my dad's like "lets go get dinner." Every restaruant was closed. My friend John calls me up and asks "wanna come over and drink" to which I reply "with my luck, the cops'll show up." And more or less, the way things had gone, I was sure they would.
Inevitalbly I ended up bowling until 1:30 am, going to Sheetz for a hoagie, going home, and sleeping until 11:45 am. Still, these things are completely overrated so remember to bring your iPod, go out to dinner with your mom, and go home and get drunk alone (if yoou want to drink in the first place, I sure did, but abstained) if you want to survive graduation.

Offline Kuma

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Re: Why Graduation Day is Completely Overrated.
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2006, 06:48:44 AM »
Wow.  That's one crappy graduation day.  Mine was uninspired, but not a total mess like that.  My school didn't hand out diplomas on stage, so that if you acted out during the ceremony they could withhold your diploma.  My friend tells me that in this year's graduating class, the class president threw his hat in the air at the end prompting the rest of the class to do so (they weren't supposed to, because my school is anal retentive, instead they pass out streamers to throw).  He had to write an 1000 word apology to receive his diploma.

High school sucked.  I'm sure you are, but if not be very, very glad you're done with it.
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